“The friendships that stick are treasures and ultimately make life complete; without them, I would be lost.”

Those words from a psychologist colleague and friend, Dr. Kathy G., capture how precious and vital friendship can be.

In my last column on the Art of Friendship Part I, I talked about making new friends at any age, especially as we age out of traditional work settings or our kids’ school years. This time, I’ll focus on the art of sustaining long-term friendships, those treasures Dr. G. refers to.

The challenges of maintaining relationships with best buddies are manifold. One of the key ingredients for keeping these precious connections is what social psychologists call “proximity.” When I first learned of the “proximity factor” as an undergraduate, I thought, “Duh, that’s so obvious.” But as the years passed, and friends and I relocated multiple times, I recognized how profound that simple word could be.

Americans move 11 times in a lifetime, on average. The divorce rate also changes circumstances and, sadly, often costs friendships. Currently, 43 percent of American marriages end in divorce. Keeping emotionally close to friends takes intention and effort. So, how do we keep our golden friendships with all these transitions?

Here are a few tips from Psychology Today: 1. Be a good friend. Make plans. Reach out with calls, texts, and cards.

2. Shed judgment. Don’t tell your friends what they should or

shouldn’t do.

3. Be curious and interested. 4. Practice active and reflective listening skills.

Here are wise words from another colleague and friend, Dr. Marsha L.: “Old friends are great because they’ve known us, often since we were much younger. There’s nothing like not speaking to someone for months or years and taking up where you left off. Friends are more or less relevant at different times of life. If you’re single, you need single friends. They give the best dating advice. If you’re married, you need married friends; if you’re widowed, you need widowed friends. Friendships pop up in ways that can be surprising and delightful.”

Dr. G. adds more wise words: “I have been extremely fortunate over my sixty-seven years to have developed numerous friendships, from the friend I met at eight to those I met through my kids, spouse, and colleagues. Each friend has unique qualities, and I turn to them at different times for different reasons. There are the one or two friends you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets to; the ones who make you laugh; the ones who make you think; the ones who are compassionate and supportive no matter what; the ones who are creative; and the ones who call you out when you need to be. I cherish all these friends because they all share one thing in common: the desire to remain connected. Good friends enrich each other’s lives by letting you know they are there and you are not alone.”

Please tell us how you value and maintain good friendships by writing “Gratitude” in the subject line and emailing press@goleader.com or pattisteckler@gmail.com.